Please?

Its my birthday, so do it for me, please?

Information

http://1-in-10.org/first-annual-lights-out-for-infertility-awareness-and-a-pretty-sweet-giveaway

Dare I put this as my cover photo during national infertility awareness week? I will if you will?

Happy Birthday to meeeed...

Not quite yet, but I can now officially say its my birthday next week! I love birthdays, I don't know why, they are always inevitably disappointing, however we are going away for the weekend which I think is what I'm really most excited about.

My final days of my 24th year of life, make em good life!

A new low...

I've reached a new life low... Or possible the best thing I've ever done.

Today Travis was signed up to become a cat model. Yep that's right, he belongs to a cat model agency.

Look out for his pretty face on pet food near you soon!

The long awaited appointment!

It arrived today, hurrah!!!

The appointment with the Assisted conception specialist on May 13th at 10am, we have to go through IUI, the risks, counselling and sign the papers, then arrange to see the nurse to go through meds and how to inject and then we can start.

It's later than we wanted, as we've been waiting since OCTOBER and it seems our first IUI will be around 29th May when AF arrives/start of June depending on when she decides to show up. Fucking June! BUT I don't care, we have a date, we can finally get the ball moving with this and are lucky to have the opportunity. If only we didn't have to wait for a new cycle to start we could do it sooner.

BUT WE'RE DOING THIS! Better late than never! :)

Picked myself up, again

This weekend if I wasn't sleeping or eating, I had a drink in my hand. An alcoholic drink. Unhealthy? Yes. Bad. Never. Yesterday we got up early, went for a walk around our house now the snow had cleared. Saw new lambs, some calfs, were followed by a pig and her piglet, scared off a mummy rabbit and her bunnies (ha!) and then went home and baked bread. Wasn't I little miss housewife?! I started baking bread at around 1pm, that was also my first glass of wine, and the wine continued until I went to bed at 9.30pm. I wasn't drunk, just a nice level of happy enough to get through the day.

Then I was woken at 4am by two absolutely crazy cats chasing eachother around the house. Fluffy cats + wooden floors + ornaments = A very long and tiring day.

Yawn

My life seems to be a string of small annoyances, strung together to make days...

One can only assume that the super strength antibiotics I was on last week have messed up me cycle. There is no 'real' evidence to suggest it can, but a few post online have said that the particular antibiotic cocktail I was on, affected AF.

I started taking the antibiotics on CD31, the day AF should have arrived, but she didn't, she arrives on CD37, the day before I stopped taking the pills. My AF cramps are usually unbearable, this month I had one bad morning and thats it. In the past week I've probably used 4 tampons total, as the bleeding isn't even enough to warrant wearing one, so I suppose thats just prolonged spotting right?

Maybe this will stretch next cycle out a little bit more so we have more of a chance of squeezing IUI in at the start of next AF. I want to get this started so bad, but I'm also starting to let the negativity creep in some what and letting IF beat me down once again.

All i've read these past few days is how IUI for unexplained in useless, and theres no point in doing it. Success rates are no higher than 'normal' people having 'normal' sex during any 'normal' month. I don't want to spend three months with false hope. I know the first month is going to be the worst, my first month on Clomid was horrific. I have NEVER been so upset and angry as the day AF arrived after the first month of treatment, I don't know what I'm going to do when the first IUI fails. I'll be a mess, thats what I'll do. I know, I need to be positive, but I'm a realist, if clomid and timed intercourse didn't work, why would IUI? They can't even figure out whats wrong with us, so why would it work?

I'm just seeing IUI as three hoops i need to jump through in order to get to IVF. Three painful hoops that I'll collapse onto the floor after every jump, only to make myself get back up and do it all again.

Fuck

Patience was never one of my strong points.

Its been two weeks since our referral for IUI was made and we haven't heard anything, so I called the Assisted Conception Unit this morning to double check the referral had been made (given my past experience with NHS!) and I was told the referral had been made on March 21st (yay!) but the lady who makes appointments was off work last week (they only have ONE lady?!) and we should have our first IUI appointment within the next 7-10 days, and she doesn't think there is much of a waiting time.

Hopefully, the first appointment will be drugs, how to use them, how to inject and then start. Which means that AF being 7 days late was actually a blessing in disguise! Thats IF we get our appointment in April, it may not work that way. I'm getting very impatient now, we could have been on IUI no.2 by now if they hadn't messed up the first time. BUT at least things are moving and the referral was made. Now to wait, and wait and wait....

I will pass the time by looking for our holiday in October - We're thinking Egypt - excited!

xx