I've got my appointment through with the gastro specialist on June 17th, five days after mock egg transfer. I'm determined to NOT have any surgery, Im not having any symptoms, I'm living pain free, after the antibiotics I've been eating a livin just fine, and the bottom line is I don't WANT to have surgery at 25 without looking at other options. I might get a slight 'niggle' in my back/abdomen a few times a month but NOTHING compared to when I had ulcers.
I've asked dr google and if you have gallbladder surgery IVF and any TTC activities can be put on hold for up to 6 months. After all this waiting, do we want to take time out for something that isn't causing me any problems? Alternatively I can completely understand why doctors would be looking at me in a negative light for thinking this way, but after I suffered from ulcers and gastritis for 18months solid, I now feel AMAZING!
On the other hand the IVF could fail and we sould have put everythig webe wanted for ao long on hold for huhe disappointment, but if it does fail then we can think about doing the surgery after July, I really think we would welcome a break after going through something so emotionally and psychologically draining and destroying as a failed IVF.
I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling. I'm terrified something is going to happen to fuck up our first true shot at having IVF. I know I keep saying this but I feel great!
So stressed and worried to the point of just wanting to burst into tears thinking about it, doesn't help that after wishing AF would hold out, she's now 5 days late and no signs she's goings to show up any time soon.
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Well, that was a turn up for the books.
We arrived at the clinic at 3.20pm in perfect time for our 3.30 appointments, after around 20minutes of sitting in the waiting room the nurse, Denise, called us through and apologised for our wait.
She opening the conversation with "...I'm going to put a cat in amongst the pigeons now" which immediately made me panic given the history of treatment and this infertility battle.
She sat down and explained that when she picked up my file she noticed I was a cardiac patient, and that always grabs peoples attention in the clinic. Then she opened my file and saw my AMH blood result was 32 (which means nothing to me...) and she panicked. Apparently normal AMH ranges are between 5-15 so my result of 32, without any signs of PCOS, shows I have 'optimal fertility' and some fab quality eggs, which is great news for us in the long run. However, given my AMH results the nurse thought that I would have absolutely no problem what so ever responding to the meds for IUI and they would easily get 2-3 eggs, HOWEVER, given my heart condition they do not, under any circumstances, want to be getting me pregnant with twins. As much as WE would love that, from the clinics stand point getting a woman with a heart condition pregnant with twins (or more!) would be very irresponsible and dangerous for all involved.
Then she uttered the words "I think you should go straight for IVF". I didn't know what to say, and at this point was quite close to tears as we had waited so so long for this and yet again we were getting nowhere. The nurse disappeared out of the room to call our FS, who was lecturing at the university at the time, and left us there to sit for 5 minutes. We discussed how we felt, how annoyed we were at the waiting, the pros and cons or not doing IUI etc...and when she returned she said that the FS had actually agreed with her point, and would also recommend we went straight for IVF (Why she didn't pick up on this before I don't know....)
Anyway...I asked the nurse "So, is this another 12 week wait to see Dr.Jivraj, and then take it from there?", to which she responded "Oh no! Definitely not, lets see what we can do"
Everything following from this was a bit of a blur, but the nurse was so lovely! She wrote down when my next AF was due, I mentioned this one was late so I didn't know for definite and she said she had fallen pregnant the cycle before her IVF with a little nudge (It feels better having a nurse who knows). She then explained we needed a mock egg transfer, a drugs consultation and to sign all of the consent forms. She clicked away on her computer and asked if we would like an appointment with the FS on Monday. 3 days time Monday. Of course we did! She booked us in for our mock ET on June 12th, and then looked for the next available drug consultation, which was July 3rd. Before she finished writing the appointment down she shouted "No! Your periods due before that we don't want you waiting, we need to squeeze you in somewhere earlier" and managed to 'sneak' (her words, not mine) a drug consultation in on the same day as my mock ET.
On the bottom of my appointment card is written "IVF treatment booked week beginning July 1st"
We've both come home shell shocked. I don't know what to think, what to worry about or what to start researching. My eggs are too well behaved for IUI, can you believe it?!
I'm thoroughly unprepared for everything that is about to happen over the next few weeks, I haven't prepared myself mentally for an IVF failure, but at the same time I haven't prepared myself mentally for IVF at all!!
What a weird, weird and yet wonderful day.
She opening the conversation with "...I'm going to put a cat in amongst the pigeons now" which immediately made me panic given the history of treatment and this infertility battle.
She sat down and explained that when she picked up my file she noticed I was a cardiac patient, and that always grabs peoples attention in the clinic. Then she opened my file and saw my AMH blood result was 32 (which means nothing to me...) and she panicked. Apparently normal AMH ranges are between 5-15 so my result of 32, without any signs of PCOS, shows I have 'optimal fertility' and some fab quality eggs, which is great news for us in the long run. However, given my AMH results the nurse thought that I would have absolutely no problem what so ever responding to the meds for IUI and they would easily get 2-3 eggs, HOWEVER, given my heart condition they do not, under any circumstances, want to be getting me pregnant with twins. As much as WE would love that, from the clinics stand point getting a woman with a heart condition pregnant with twins (or more!) would be very irresponsible and dangerous for all involved.
Then she uttered the words "I think you should go straight for IVF". I didn't know what to say, and at this point was quite close to tears as we had waited so so long for this and yet again we were getting nowhere. The nurse disappeared out of the room to call our FS, who was lecturing at the university at the time, and left us there to sit for 5 minutes. We discussed how we felt, how annoyed we were at the waiting, the pros and cons or not doing IUI etc...and when she returned she said that the FS had actually agreed with her point, and would also recommend we went straight for IVF (Why she didn't pick up on this before I don't know....)
Anyway...I asked the nurse "So, is this another 12 week wait to see Dr.Jivraj, and then take it from there?", to which she responded "Oh no! Definitely not, lets see what we can do"
Everything following from this was a bit of a blur, but the nurse was so lovely! She wrote down when my next AF was due, I mentioned this one was late so I didn't know for definite and she said she had fallen pregnant the cycle before her IVF with a little nudge (It feels better having a nurse who knows). She then explained we needed a mock egg transfer, a drugs consultation and to sign all of the consent forms. She clicked away on her computer and asked if we would like an appointment with the FS on Monday. 3 days time Monday. Of course we did! She booked us in for our mock ET on June 12th, and then looked for the next available drug consultation, which was July 3rd. Before she finished writing the appointment down she shouted "No! Your periods due before that we don't want you waiting, we need to squeeze you in somewhere earlier" and managed to 'sneak' (her words, not mine) a drug consultation in on the same day as my mock ET.
On the bottom of my appointment card is written "IVF treatment booked week beginning July 1st"
We've both come home shell shocked. I don't know what to think, what to worry about or what to start researching. My eggs are too well behaved for IUI, can you believe it?!
I'm thoroughly unprepared for everything that is about to happen over the next few weeks, I haven't prepared myself mentally for an IVF failure, but at the same time I haven't prepared myself mentally for IVF at all!!
What a weird, weird and yet wonderful day.
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
May 2013
IS IUI NUMBER ONE!!!!
Woken up this morning with some mild cramping, but definitely no AF. My bet is spotting will start today/tomorrow and therefore CD2 (The first day of treatment) will be Friday/Saturday, which means I have plenty of time to get my injection consultation in with the nurse tomorrow.
I have NEVER been happier for AF to be late, and she is, CD33 for me now on a normally 31 day cycle. After the utter shite that was this month, karma must be cutting me some slack.
p.s. I promise no more gifs - I just can't resist the cats!
Woken up this morning with some mild cramping, but definitely no AF. My bet is spotting will start today/tomorrow and therefore CD2 (The first day of treatment) will be Friday/Saturday, which means I have plenty of time to get my injection consultation in with the nurse tomorrow.
I have NEVER been happier for AF to be late, and she is, CD33 for me now on a normally 31 day cycle. After the utter shite that was this month, karma must be cutting me some slack.
p.s. I promise no more gifs - I just can't resist the cats!
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Can it be....?
I feel like I'm tempting fate a little by writing this post but so far THERE IS NO AF!!
I started doing OPKs on Monday 13th May and carried on until Saturday 18th May and never got a positive test, this covered CD15 - CD 21 (I usually ovulate around CD17). I got a near positive on Monday 13th and then they were completely negative from the 14th, so I assumed I had ovulated on 14th May.
That makes me 14DPO today, I had some cramps this weekend and was sure I was out, but no AF yet! We even had some damn good bding last night, and that didn't bring anything on. (of course I haven't tested, don't be ridiculous!)
My appointment is in 2 days and treatment for IUI starts on CD2. I usually have a day of spotting before CD1 officially starts (no tampons needed) sooooooooooo if spotting starts tomorrow my appointment will be on CD1 and we can start treatment!!!!
The only thing that can possibly fuck this up now, is if AF arrives tonight, in full flow, no spotting just WHAM.
We are so fucking close to doing this, please let this be the one good thing of this month?!!!
Friday, 24 May 2013
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
5 months and counting....
I apologies for the title, whenever I hear a number less than 9 with the word 'months' following, my brain automatically thinks 'Pregnancy'. Rest assured it is not in any way, shape or form, related to procreation.
Whatever happens over the next few months I simply do not care anymore, as in 5 months time I will be here,in beautiful Tunisia for 7 whole days of sun, sea, sand, food and alcohol...No baby making, no shitty crappy England with its dull weather and dismal temperatures, no treatments, no stomach problems no nothing...I will spend 7 days thinking about nothing what so ever. Reading goods books, eating good food and getting a jolly good tan. I cant fucking wait.
Whatever happens over the next few months I simply do not care anymore, as in 5 months time I will be here,in beautiful Tunisia for 7 whole days of sun, sea, sand, food and alcohol...No baby making, no shitty crappy England with its dull weather and dismal temperatures, no treatments, no stomach problems no nothing...I will spend 7 days thinking about nothing what so ever. Reading goods books, eating good food and getting a jolly good tan. I cant fucking wait.
I suppose this shows how confident we are that IUI is going to work ;)
Edit: Was originally Crete,Greece. Now Tunisia due to holiday drama, a dodgy travel agent, arguments one cancellation, 4 hours on trip advisor and a final re-booking here, Monastir, Tunisia.
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
Body, why do you hate me so?
Jeez, I've really been hammering the blog lately, huh? Sorry all! I'm just as annoying in real life as well :)
So after my successful hospital appointment on Monday, I had a routine ultrasound on my abdomen yesterday to check my gallbladder and pancreas just to make sure everything was checked before my gastroenterologist signed me off as being in good health. After my course of antibiotics for my stomach I've felt great, so I wasn't expecting anything to happen during the appointment yesterday, so much so I went on my own.
Well I was wrong. The very arsy ultrasound tech informed me, quite matter of fact, that I do indeed, have some unwanted gallstones on board (IM 25!) and my gallbladder will need to be removed. Fan-bloody-tastic.
I have since then read a lot about gallstone pain, and I hate to admit it, but it fits. I sometimes get annoying 'back ache' in between my shoulder blades, in fact I regularly get Martin to massage my back a few times a week because of them, pop a few paracetamol and try and sleep it off. This isn't unusual as I have had back problems in the past caused by whiplash and torn muscles. Well, turns out thats gallstone pain. When the gallbladder contracts to send bile into the intestine and there are gallstones, they get in the way, causing the pain. Voila - back ache.
So I find out I can start IUI this month (possibly) then get told the next day I need surgery. The symptoms for my gallstones are manageable at the minute, so the hospital will be in no rush to operate ASAP. Given the 12 week wait for my next specialist appointment, and another 12 week wait for surgery, I estimate November before my gallbladder is actually removed. Some people may disagree with how I'm handling this, but I'm NOT going to postpone by IF treatment because of this. We have a 20% chance of it working, I'm not putting everything on hold for 20%, we've waiting 12 months for this. Gallstones in pregnancy is also quite common due to hormone imbalance, if I do happen to fall pregnant, I'll deal with it the same way every other pregnant woman does. If I don't, I'll just take a month out when I'm having my gallbladder removed. Its never simple.
I also have a sneaking suspicion I ovulated yesterday (a day early!) as I had ovulation pain, which will fuck everything up because AF will most certainly arrive before my injection lessons putting IUI off until June. Although I didn't get a +OPK so I won't know for definite until tonight when I do another...
Damn you gallbladder you useless sack of nothingness! I dont even need you, why are you there?!!!
So after my successful hospital appointment on Monday, I had a routine ultrasound on my abdomen yesterday to check my gallbladder and pancreas just to make sure everything was checked before my gastroenterologist signed me off as being in good health. After my course of antibiotics for my stomach I've felt great, so I wasn't expecting anything to happen during the appointment yesterday, so much so I went on my own.
Well I was wrong. The very arsy ultrasound tech informed me, quite matter of fact, that I do indeed, have some unwanted gallstones on board (IM 25!) and my gallbladder will need to be removed. Fan-bloody-tastic.
I have since then read a lot about gallstone pain, and I hate to admit it, but it fits. I sometimes get annoying 'back ache' in between my shoulder blades, in fact I regularly get Martin to massage my back a few times a week because of them, pop a few paracetamol and try and sleep it off. This isn't unusual as I have had back problems in the past caused by whiplash and torn muscles. Well, turns out thats gallstone pain. When the gallbladder contracts to send bile into the intestine and there are gallstones, they get in the way, causing the pain. Voila - back ache.
So I find out I can start IUI this month (possibly) then get told the next day I need surgery. The symptoms for my gallstones are manageable at the minute, so the hospital will be in no rush to operate ASAP. Given the 12 week wait for my next specialist appointment, and another 12 week wait for surgery, I estimate November before my gallbladder is actually removed. Some people may disagree with how I'm handling this, but I'm NOT going to postpone by IF treatment because of this. We have a 20% chance of it working, I'm not putting everything on hold for 20%, we've waiting 12 months for this. Gallstones in pregnancy is also quite common due to hormone imbalance, if I do happen to fall pregnant, I'll deal with it the same way every other pregnant woman does. If I don't, I'll just take a month out when I'm having my gallbladder removed. Its never simple.
I also have a sneaking suspicion I ovulated yesterday (a day early!) as I had ovulation pain, which will fuck everything up because AF will most certainly arrive before my injection lessons putting IUI off until June. Although I didn't get a +OPK so I won't know for definite until tonight when I do another...
Damn you gallbladder you useless sack of nothingness! I dont even need you, why are you there?!!!
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