I'm starting to get pissed off with people saying that line to me whenever I mention some pain/discomfort/body issue I've discovered while pregnant.
I'm not going to lie, I have down days about the changes my body is going through. I'm bigger EVERYWHERE, my breast are sore and so swollen they're purple and hot, my hips and back are painful due to PGD/SPD and I'll soon be having physio to sort it out and my sciatic nerve is being trapped by baby/pelvis so that is causing daily pain. Don't get me wrong, not for one second would I wish any of it go away. I know why this is happening and my pregnant body is doing an AMAZING thing changing to accommodate this little guy. I am grateful for every little twinge in my back that's caused by pregnancy, hell I'm even grateful for the new stretch marks which are forming on my watermelon-esque boobs. But, that doesn't mean that occasionally I can feel down about my weight gain or what my boobs will looks like post pregnancy. Does it?
Last week I was talking to Martin about how my body would change and if he would find me attractive. Of course he will, but sometimes you have to vocalise these things. I'd just got out of the shower and was noticing parts of my body had changes radically and said to him "I feel so fat today. Like I'm that woman who people aren't quite sure if she's pregnant or just eaten a lot" he response to me was "your belly has got much bigger.....so have your hips!" So I threw a cushion at him and thanked him for his typically male response and for making me feel worse bit better, than pulled on my maternity jeans and carried on with the day. When telling this story to MIL that weekend I said:
"Well he was so lovely the other day. I was feeling a bit down about just looking fat and...."
Before I could even finish the sentence she interrupted with
"Sorry Steph you are not allowed to complain that you feel fat. You wanted to get pregnant you'll have to live with what it does to your body!"
Erm...thanks.
Last night we saw friends we hadn't seen for a while and I said to my closest female friend "I've had a few down days about my size but today I just feel a bit chubby!" Her boyfriend then said "You are not allowed to moan about feeling fat!"
Is it me?! I'm not ungrateful, I love that every morning when I get out of bed I can feel him rolling about and kicking in my belly. I love that one day these ginormous breast will hopefully feed our son and I love that my body will be a mummies body. Does that mean I have to love the back pain and not voice ANY displeasure at my changing body?
If I had got pregnant naturally would I then be "allowed to moan"?
It makes me equal parts pissed off and equal parts upset
These people have no right to say that to you hun. You have every right to voice how you're feeling, maybe more so than those who haven't been lttc, because during our journies to get pregnant we aren't allowed to moan, because it makes people uncomfortable or tell us that we just need to relax and it will happen.
ReplyDeleteYou may have gone through IVF, you may love being pregnant but lets face it being pregnant is not all sweetness so whinge away my lovely!
Who the FUCK are they to tell you that?!!
ReplyDeleteIf you can't have a normal TTC journey, at least you can have a normal pregnancy and moan about some of the discomforts! You're certainly entitled to that!!
lol, Jax and I can come and tell them off with our filthy filthy mouths. :P
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