Planning for life, when life isn't going the way you planned.

How are you supposed to do anything?

With the end of 2013 approaching I can safely say that 2014 just HAS to be better. My surgery has been done, I'm recovering well, I have a new permanent job with all the benefits that come along with it, we're better of financially and we can start getting back on track with fertility treatment.

Looking at the calendar my cycle is now running at starting during the first few days of the month, so IVF will be either the start of February or the start of March, depending on what we decide as a couple. February is a short month and I know that the new term starting in January means getting time off for appointments will be difficult, so at the minute we're leaning towards the Feb/March sort of time, which sounds a long way off, but it's actually only 2-3 AF's away.

Whenever Christmas and birthdays roll around, I always prefer to buy 'experiences' rather than 'stuff' for Martin, so I usually arrange for us to go away somewhere, see one of our favourite bands etc...so yesterday for Christmas, I bought us two tickets to next years Download Festival (A big rock/alternative festival) which we've always wanted to go to together. The dates for this are 13th, 14th and 15th of June so by this point we'll be out of treatment whatever the outcome.

Best case scenario is that on the 13th of June I could be around 12 weeks pregnant, or less if we move onto a second IVF (or obviously not at all, in which case I will spend the weekend in a muddy field with an alcohol drip). I know that I can't put life on hold 'just incase', and that I will still attend the festival even if I am pregnant (we're staying in a nearby hotel, not on the camp site!) but I know for a fact that people will have strong opinions on attending while pregnant, so what are you supposed to do for the best?

Do you put life on hold and wait for a result before picking up again, or do you carry on as normal and just let anything treatment wise go on in the sidelines?

I can't make this my life anymore, it's not healthy. I can't become so obsessed with treatment and IVF that it becomes who I am, but at the same time it is who I am whether I like it or not....

Hmmmmm