4dp5dt

It seems that no matter how much I want them, symptoms just aren't going to happen.

Apart from my evening of cramps 2dpt, not much since then. I've had a few twinges on and off, but right now I can't tell you if they were real, or just because nearly every waking moment is spent concentrating on my uterus!

My boobs are fine,the underside is sore, but onl if I actually poke there. No 'taking off the bra boob pain' which generally happens to me around ovulation and/or AF.

I don't feel anything.

I'm seriously emotional, but I defy any woman to go through this and not be.

I was going to ok the whole week off work, but had some results to release to students yesterday that were already a week late, so I went I'm with the sole purpose to do that. I had spent a bit of time during my annual leave working on the database for these results so they were ready to go in time and spent the first three hours of yesterday morning working on them. I was then informed 10minutes before they were due to go out that we don't release results on Fridays "...I'm case students have a meltdown and do something stupid over the weekend". My counter argument? "...I get that. But nobody has failed?" Apparently this wasn't a good enough argument and I was promptly informed by four members of higher management that I was NOT to release the results. I must have been emotional because I genuinely shouted that it was ridiculous, stormed back to my desk in the middle of someone speaking to me and proceeded to try not to cry for the next hour or so.

Today is very much the same. Martin looked at me this morning and just said "anything today?" And I just cried.

We still don't know what we're going to do about testing. I'm still not sure how I'm going to cope with working full time and finding out the results of a cycle.

I not being negative for the sake of being negative, I just have a gut feeling this isn't the cycle for us and my gut isn't often wrong.