So as I was sat in my office yesterday I was mentally planning out 2013 TTC wise.
Our 2013 looks something like this (Im also an eternal pessimist, as you will see)
January and February - Enjoy life, enjoy sex. Be like every other non worrying couple that exists, have fun, drink alcohol, drink coffee, live
March - IUI number 1. Welcome back hospital appointments, blood test, scans, injections, tablets, sprays and creams. Also a warm welcome back to the speculum and stirrups. IUI BFN number 1.
April - IUI number 2. Turn 25. IUI BFN number 2.
May IUI number 3. IUI BFN number 3.
I have spoken with woman who have had IUI at my clinic and they usually do consecutive months, although we would have the option of taking a month our here and there. But for the sake of this I'll carry on.
After IUI BFN number 3 we will be referred for IVF. The IVF waiting list is 18 weeks, so 4 months.
May to September - Prepare for IVF. Try and enjoy life again. Plan a life without children, moving to spain, travelling the world, start a savings account in order to do these things.
September - First and last IVF. We only have one funding IVF cycle on the NHS.
By the time we are celebrating out second wedding anniversary in October 2013, we will know if we are going to be parents or not. Well, I know thats a bit dramatic but our journey will end this year, either for the best or for the worst.
By the age of 25 I will have accessed all of the medical interventions I am entitled to on the NHS, and will not be receiving any more help. By the age of 25.
Just reading that makes me burst into tears. Obviously I know that there is a small possibility we will go on to have a miracle natural pregnancy in yeas to come, but Im not going to hold my breath for one.
We've already decided that if the three IUIs fail we will then start planning for a childless life. Thats 4 months away. Just 4 months. I dont even think I can handle this year.
Wow, you silly pessimist. STOP! Let's focus on IUI #1 first!
ReplyDeleteHaha Jess I need a mental slap across the face! Please feel free to come back and give me these as often as you see fit, you can even come and give me a real slap if you wish!
ReplyDeleteI hate my pessimism! X
I believe it's more of, you fear the end. At some point, whenever that may be, our journeys come to that very realistic end. I'm scared of that too. Though, you still stand a very good chance of conceiving in those 4 tries. Try to be a little more optimistic in thinking it may work, because you don't want to get hung up on it not working then your body work against you in more than it already has. Damn little bit a psychologist told me.
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