Called it!!

I'm getting so good at this now.

Over the past 3 years of TTC, I have bet Martin that ___________ is pregnant at least a few weeks before it's been officially announced. Three of his cousins have had babies in this time, I knew they were pregnant weeks before they announced it to family, I've had friends fall pregnant and I've told Martin they are weeks before they're announced it. So it came as no great surprise when my pregnancy spider senses were tingling about the unnamed family member being pregnant, and once again last night I was proved right.

I have however come to realise that there is no pleasing me. Martin family came around for tea and biscuits and a general visit, and I knew something was going to crop up. I half expected his mum to just come out and tell us that said family member was pregnant, I had already pre-warned Martin this would piss me off with the mood I was in yesterday, and I would probably run to the bathroom and sob, making people feel unconformable enough that they would leave. As I keep trying to explain to the horrified friends around me, it's not that I am pissed off that they ARE pregnant, or that people are having babies, I don't expect the world to stop. But when people tell us face to face and know about our situation, what do they expect us to do with this information??!

So when the family arrived, I had already practised my 'give a shit' smile, and had it permanently plastered on my face, when the conversation turned to weddings due to something on the TV. I can handle wedding talk, I've had a wedding after all. We discussed the fact that Martin has some aunties who aren't married but are in long term relationships, and wondered if they ever would get married. MIL started a sentence, which I assume was supposed to end it "..I thought they said they were going to get married" But it actually came out like this....

MIL: "Well when we had the phone call to say _______had some exciting news.....erm...well...erm..."

Queue all family in law looking at each other panicked and distraught, thinking of the next thing to say, this is what was said next

MIL: "..So in the new house, where are you going to put the sofa?"

Right. Yes, you definitely saved that one. *Huge exaggerated eye roll*

So even though the in laws who visited clearly didn't want to say the words "_______ is pregnant" and panicked when they thought it was going to come, it pissed me off. I'm just a woman who is never satisfied.

To me now my life is the elephant in the room. Nobody ever asks us or refers to or talks about our infertility, but everyone awkwardly avoids the topic of pregnancy like I will explode into a billion pieces if I hear the word. (emotionally I do, but on the outside my 'give a shit' face is fault less!)  So pretty much I'm an awkward bitch and no matter how or in when medium of pregnancy the topic is brought up, I will be pissed off with all persons involved.

I did have an uncontrollable sob at the situation, and it's been a while since the last one. Life is so unfair sometimes, said family member who is pregnant with her second, constantly moans about how she's too poor to care for the one she has, and relies on family members to bail them out constantly. Now number two is on the way. Whoopdi-fucking-do.

Oh yeah, and just to make the 'give a shit' smile come back, I figured out her due date will be around the time we finish IUI number 3 (yes yes, if we get that far)

BUT I have my ladies, who mean everything to me (you know who you are) if I didn't have them over the past 9 months (how apt!) I may have just dissolved already.

Is 9am on a Monday too early for alcohol?