7 days after gallstone-gate

...and I still don't feel 100%. I think it's a mixture of the antibiotics, on going infection fighting my body is doing and my generally crap mood i've been in this week. I need to give myself a good shake and get out of it.

Obviously we're still very much devastated about our IVF outcome, although we also know how lucky we are to still have out two attempts and be able to pick up in a few months (surgery dependent). To say we were supposed to start treatment in January and then it was fuck up after fuck up on the NHS part that pushed it to July, to get 30% of the way through  cycle and then everything fuck up again is just a little bit of a push too far for me at the moment. I need a few weeks to wallow and then I'll be back to my normal self again.

I know I've brought it on myself, and I should have had the surgery before doing IVF anyway, I know this, I've blamed myself for this ever since it happened. But I can't help but feel like I can't take full responsibility for it as my surgeon gave me his blessing to postpone the operation until after IVF, saying it wouldn't affect it. I only realised how odd this was when I explained this to a team of 5 surgeons stood around the bottom of my hospital bed on Sunday, and they all looked at each other in disbelief.

The huge, massive saviour of this whole situation is that my gallbladder didn't wait 7 days and try and kill me, as we would have already had embryo transfer and be at the start of our TWW. The amount of drugs I was given last weekend and the drugs I've been taking this week, not to mention the sheer stress and exhaustion of it all, would have guaranteed a failed cycle, and we would have lost it and only have one remaining. In fact if my GB had waited just 3 more days to give out we would have lost a cycle. So for that we are thankful.

Much to my amazement I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday. I'm not quite sure why, as  I have had every test under the sun this weekend and there isn't much to discuss. Lets just hope I can get my argument in in person as to why he should take it out there and then. I should find out how long I have to wait. Gulp.

Over the next few days I shall be working on improving my mood and pulling myself back together, because it's not doing anything for anyone.

It's Martins birthday in 17 days and we have the holiday to look forward to after that on October 9th (75 days and counting...), then on 26th October it's our 2 year wedding anniversary, so there is actually good stuff in the world. We have another birth announcement to look forward to in the next 7-10 days which fills me with about as much joy as something that isn'y very joyful (cousin we hate) but everything else should be good.

Thank you to everyone who has contacted me or sent me lovely messages over the past week, I do very very much appreciate it! I'm sorry I've been negative nancy and been very quiet on the responding front, I'm just being oscar the grouch, living in a dark box with very little contact and all. The only person I really want to be around at the minute is Martin, and I'm very clingy to him currently, if he had a bag big enough to fit me in I would definitely be at work with him now.