7dpo now. 7 days til AF and 7 days until I'm making the call to schedule my first scan, collect my drugs and begin.
As per, body is playing mind tricks. Sore boobs, sore nipples, lots of on-off pressure/heavy feelings in baby box. Not reading anything into it pregnancy wise, more wondering of this mean she's going to misbehave this month.
Feeling so negative about IVF, I almost want to run away. If we don't do it, then it can't fail, and were not just left with one more chance, for the rest of our lives, to have medical intervention. It's not going to work, it can't, it would be too perfect. We would get out BFP around Martins birthday, guess when mini Briggs would be due? My birthday. Too perfect to work.
I'm also now convinced due to the force that needs to go into manipulating my cervix during transfer that its an automatic failure - but this is something that they can't 'fix' it's how I'm designed. If they can't fix if, how is it ever going to get better?
It's only July and I'm already gearing up for Christmas number 4 and still no happy news. Worst case scenario and 2 failed IVFs and this will be the last year we TTC as I will be going back on bc for the forseable future.
Bah miserable moany cow
I understand feeling like you want to run away and not do it. Of course you have fears and worries, it's all completely normal to feel like this. xx
ReplyDeleteThere's a possibility it will work and a possibility of failure. As infertiles, it's completely natural for us to prepare ourselves for the worst and expect it. If you convince yourself this treatment will fail, it will hurt slightly less emotionally when it does fail. HOWEVER, since your body doesn't want to corporate on its own....give it a couple of chances to be manipulated with modern medicine. Xx
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