Cheer up grumpy bum

In a genuinely 'down in the dumps' mood today. Not sure why. You know when you have those days when you're alone so you start thinking about EVERYTHING, that was me today.

Money worries, work worries, heat worries, TTC worries have all plagued my brain today and not left me alone. I think I'm just hormonal and need to get a grip. I'm not 11-12dpo and my bodies being weird this month. My boobs have been agony since around 4dpo, and have only gotten worse every day. I've taken to wearing a bandeau bikini top instead of a bra because it's too painful, not to mention the London A-Z in veins I have on them. Add to that my on and off cramping for the past week and it makes for a very confused woman (no, i'm not pregnant). Its usual for my boobs to hurt maybe around 12-13 dpo just before AF, but never like this.

It's clear that my uterus and hypothalamus have decided to gang up on me and cause havoc every cycle, 2 weeks late last month, sore boobs and PG symptoms from 4dpo this month.....witch.

So now, thanks to this months bizzaro behaviour, I have no idea when AF is going to arrive, hopefully in 3 days time like shes supposed to so we can get this IVF show on the road.

I also made a big step today and contacted the universities Human Resources department to ask about my rights with employment and IVF. So far I have been using my yearly annual leave entitlement, which was advised by my manager. I get 25 days holiday a year (5 working weeks), my hospital is a good 40 miles away from my work, so a mid morning or early afternoon appointment requires a whole day off. Since the start of my holiday entitlement in March I've used 14 days holiday (5 of those are for our holiday to Tunisia) and we haven't even started treatment yet, at this rate theres no way we'll be able to do another cycle this year as I simply wont have the holidays. I'm sure that as these are medical appointments I shouldn't be expected to use all of my entitled leave - I mean, if I was having surgery or other medical treatment I wouldn't be expected to use my holiday days, correct? Lets see what they say.

I did read somewhere that once you have the embryo transfer you are classed as a pregnant woman, so fall under pregnant employment laws, which means they can't penalise me for having time off. I don't know why that makes me sad...

We're in the middle of a heat wave (only 80's) but we're not built to cope with it with no air con or general hot weather related apparatus so sleep in the evenings is hard to come by!

Going to cheer myself up with a chicken and chorizo Jambalaya, some ice cream and some crappy evening TV.

Did I mention Murray won Wimbledon???