Hello,
It's been a while since I updated this little diary thing of mine. Life has been pretty hectic, work has gotten really busy since the students have got back, social life is now actually existing as we live closer to friends again and general life has just been keeping me happily floating along.
Few things to update really;
My support network is more of just a 'network' at the minute, and not quite how it used to be. However, I have gained two best friends out of it. Imagine having best friends you've never met. Odd eh? But having spoken to them both daily for around 6 months, I feel like I can talk to them about anything and everything, and honestly can't think of how I would cope without them. Please don't get me wrong, the other woman in the group are brilliant and offer lots of support which I am eternally grateful for, but they seem to go above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to cheering me up. A lot can be said for a simple text every once in a while :)
One is just starting her first IVF cycle and I am so excited for her, genuinely. It's the hardest thing it the world sitting in TTC limbo and hearing about your friends moving on with treatments and making that one final step towards their baby when you're still so far away, but she has dealt with is fantastically and has never pushed the boundaries of information or made me feel uncomfortable, I'm fascinated by her journey and can't wait to find out more details, and love her for the fact that I know I can be as much or as little a part of her IVF as I feel comfortable with. Which must be difficult for her as it's such an exciting time, which just goes to show how much of a true star she is! I really hope this is the final hurdle for her and her OH.
The other is just an angel. One of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet, and always there with helpful advice or something funny to make you smile when you really need it. Herjourney, like all of ours, is different to mine, and I think that helps to have other journeys and points of view to look at. She and her husband just seem to be one of those couples you are so in love they make everyone around them feel a bit sick (like has been said about me and Marts...) in the nicest possible way. I'm so angry that infertility affects the nicest of people, who could offer a good and stable life to a child, yet woman who have nothing of stability, rely on the government for money, drink, smoke do drugs can have 3,4, 10 kids with no problems what so ever. What did we ever do so wrong to the world?
The long awaited FS appointment (Fertility Specialist)
October 15th was out first appointment with our new fertility specialist, and to say I was terrified would be an understatement. But actually we came out of it with mixed feelings, but definitely some positives.
When we first saw the doctor she asked the usual questions "How long have you been trying", "How often do you have sex", "tell me about your periods.." the usual privacy breaking questions, then she looked at our test results.
My day 3 and day 21 bloods that show all of my hormone levels and prove that I'm a normally functioning woman are missing. So she doesn't know what my FSH, LH, progesterone levels or anything are, which causes a bit of a problem when it comes to fertility treatments. Great.
She did have my progesterone levels for when I was one clomid which were 76!! That is amazingly high! A normal progesterone level post ovulation is around 12. So having a result of 76 shows one of two things 1)I ovulated about 3-4 eggs whilst on clomid, causing my levels to go through the roof or 2) I was pregnant. I'm sticking with number 1.
Martin is being sent to do another SA, which is fun! But hopefully, with Sheffield having one of the best fertility labs in the country, we'll get some more answers with that.
Finally the FS noticed in my notes that I was born with a pulmonary stenosis of the heart. This means my vavles don't close properly. Has not caused any problems before. However, it never occured to my old specialist to get this checked out before pumping me full of baby making drugs. This FS thinks that is very silly, and said "I don't want to spend all this time getting you pregnant, without knowing it is safe for you to be pregnant". So lucky for me I get to have an appointment with a cardiologist to have my ticker checked out. hurrah! However, ALL FERTILITY TREATMENTS ARE ON HOLD UNTIL AFTER THE CARDIOLOGISTS. The waiting time for a cardiology appointment is 3 months. So we can't do anything until 2013.
Great. We have waited since April to get this appointment, incompetent doctors and receptionists pushed us back months with the referral, and now we have to wait until NEXT YEAR to get some answers. So in 2012 we have had a total of 2 fertility specialist appointments. Just two. 4 failed rounds of clomid and one due date to get through, and now we are fastly approaching yet another Christmas without a child. Every single year at Christmas we've said "this time next year they'll be three of us" now I'm thinking they'll never be three of us.
Sigh.
Doom, gloom and nothing jolly.
