If you're feeling low during a TWW, IKEA? Not a good idea.
Does it emit some sort of sound only pregnant woman can hear?
On the plus side I have new candles and new pictures and frames for the house.
Saturday 31 May 2014
4dp5dt
It seems that no matter how much I want them, symptoms just aren't going to happen.
Apart from my evening of cramps 2dpt, not much since then. I've had a few twinges on and off, but right now I can't tell you if they were real, or just because nearly every waking moment is spent concentrating on my uterus!
My boobs are fine,the underside is sore, but onl if I actually poke there. No 'taking off the bra boob pain' which generally happens to me around ovulation and/or AF.
I don't feel anything.
I'm seriously emotional, but I defy any woman to go through this and not be.
I was going to ok the whole week off work, but had some results to release to students yesterday that were already a week late, so I went I'm with the sole purpose to do that. I had spent a bit of time during my annual leave working on the database for these results so they were ready to go in time and spent the first three hours of yesterday morning working on them. I was then informed 10minutes before they were due to go out that we don't release results on Fridays "...I'm case students have a meltdown and do something stupid over the weekend". My counter argument? "...I get that. But nobody has failed?" Apparently this wasn't a good enough argument and I was promptly informed by four members of higher management that I was NOT to release the results. I must have been emotional because I genuinely shouted that it was ridiculous, stormed back to my desk in the middle of someone speaking to me and proceeded to try not to cry for the next hour or so.
Today is very much the same. Martin looked at me this morning and just said "anything today?" And I just cried.
We still don't know what we're going to do about testing. I'm still not sure how I'm going to cope with working full time and finding out the results of a cycle.
I not being negative for the sake of being negative, I just have a gut feeling this isn't the cycle for us and my gut isn't often wrong.
Apart from my evening of cramps 2dpt, not much since then. I've had a few twinges on and off, but right now I can't tell you if they were real, or just because nearly every waking moment is spent concentrating on my uterus!
My boobs are fine,the underside is sore, but onl if I actually poke there. No 'taking off the bra boob pain' which generally happens to me around ovulation and/or AF.
I don't feel anything.
I'm seriously emotional, but I defy any woman to go through this and not be.
I was going to ok the whole week off work, but had some results to release to students yesterday that were already a week late, so I went I'm with the sole purpose to do that. I had spent a bit of time during my annual leave working on the database for these results so they were ready to go in time and spent the first three hours of yesterday morning working on them. I was then informed 10minutes before they were due to go out that we don't release results on Fridays "...I'm case students have a meltdown and do something stupid over the weekend". My counter argument? "...I get that. But nobody has failed?" Apparently this wasn't a good enough argument and I was promptly informed by four members of higher management that I was NOT to release the results. I must have been emotional because I genuinely shouted that it was ridiculous, stormed back to my desk in the middle of someone speaking to me and proceeded to try not to cry for the next hour or so.
Today is very much the same. Martin looked at me this morning and just said "anything today?" And I just cried.
We still don't know what we're going to do about testing. I'm still not sure how I'm going to cope with working full time and finding out the results of a cycle.
I not being negative for the sake of being negative, I just have a gut feeling this isn't the cycle for us and my gut isn't often wrong.
Friday 30 May 2014
Is it test day yet?!
This week is destroying me!
Yesterday I was negative Nellie all morning and then, at around 4pm I felt the familiar sensation of cramps. Not full blown AF type cramps, but mine are horrendously bad, they were more like pre-AF cramps - the type I class as warning cramps which usually signal I need pain relief now, otherwise it is too late. Along with these came the usual warm tummy sensation I get with AF.
I was SO excited I was feeling something that I almost wanted to punch the air! I have never been happier to feel cramps! In bed at 9.30ish I had a very buzz are 'lightning' strike type pain in my stomach. It starting at the bottom of my abdomen and spread upwards - like a lightning strike. It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds but it was weird.
So yesterday I let myself feel a little positive. 2dp5dt, cramps, it was all looking promising.
Then I woke up this morning and my cramps have gone. I missed them. And now I'm back to being negative nelly. I want my cramps back dammit!!!
Yesterday I was negative Nellie all morning and then, at around 4pm I felt the familiar sensation of cramps. Not full blown AF type cramps, but mine are horrendously bad, they were more like pre-AF cramps - the type I class as warning cramps which usually signal I need pain relief now, otherwise it is too late. Along with these came the usual warm tummy sensation I get with AF.
I was SO excited I was feeling something that I almost wanted to punch the air! I have never been happier to feel cramps! In bed at 9.30ish I had a very buzz are 'lightning' strike type pain in my stomach. It starting at the bottom of my abdomen and spread upwards - like a lightning strike. It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds but it was weird.
So yesterday I let myself feel a little positive. 2dp5dt, cramps, it was all looking promising.
Then I woke up this morning and my cramps have gone. I missed them. And now I'm back to being negative nelly. I want my cramps back dammit!!!
Thursday 29 May 2014
2dp5dt
Can you believe I'm writing that title again?
Well yesterday was very uneventful, I feel great...it's strange that that's disappointing to me. I even started googling "1dp5dt no symptoms" like an actual crazy lady, when I KNOW that in real terms that only equates to 6dpo. PUT GOOGLE AWAY YOU MAD LADY!
I felt nauseous for about an hour and a yesterday evening which never happens to me unless I'm ill, but at 1dp transfer I'm not attributing that to anything other than an empty stomach and diet coke.
Today I feel fine too (well, it's only 9.15am) I do feel a little bruised I'm the uterine area, but only that I notice if I'm reaching up to get something or bending down to pick something up. Again, I'm not attributing that to anything but a large plastic tube poking into my womb 2 days ago.
I had a minute amount of brown spotting yesterday, so minute I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking out for it. Last time round I had more noticeable spotting so I feel like my cervix and womb has had an easier ride.
I'm not back at work until tomorrow and I'm going crazy! I know booking time off work was a good thing to do, but it's just me and the cats and the picture of our little embryo hanging above the fireplace. I, personally, don't think I can be blamed for googling myself silly. While googling I did notice SO MANY, mostly American, woman who had the whole two weeks off work. HOW DO THEY DO IT?! Clinics over here don't recommend ANY time away from work and encourage you to get back into your normal routine the day after transfer. Two weeks of bed rest and my mental health would be beyond recovery!
Last month I suffered from FET bipolar, this month I just have FET depression. The first two days are no different to our last negative cycle so I'm finding it difficult to stop being Eeyore and letting the black cloud follow me around. We're already talking about next cycle, then I get a pang of guilt incase the little guy is still there and can hear us. The most heart wrenching thing is knowing if it hasn't worked our embryo is already dead. It actually pains me.
Did I mention that official test day (June 5th) is the day I'm presenting at a conference all day? A conference which has been planned since January and there's no way out of it. Next week is SO busy that it simply isn't possible for me to have any time off at home no matter what the outcome of the cycle - if it is negative I'm going to struggle. A lot.
Votes for when we should test;
1) Sunday: I will only be 5dp5dt so it's still a little early although chances are could give an accurate result. It would give us the whole day together to grieve or celebrate (panic) before returning to work on Momday, but I don't want to test negative than convince myself it's too early and live I'm false hope.
2) Tuesday might : I will be 7dp5dt so should get an accurate result. BUT I will only test when we get home from work at 7pm, which gives me a whole day at the office to sit through. We usually head to bed around 9.30pm (we're old and get up at 5.30) so it would mean very little time to actually sit and process and quite possibly, a difficult sleepless night.
Which is the lesser of two evils?
Well yesterday was very uneventful, I feel great...it's strange that that's disappointing to me. I even started googling "1dp5dt no symptoms" like an actual crazy lady, when I KNOW that in real terms that only equates to 6dpo. PUT GOOGLE AWAY YOU MAD LADY!
I felt nauseous for about an hour and a yesterday evening which never happens to me unless I'm ill, but at 1dp transfer I'm not attributing that to anything other than an empty stomach and diet coke.
Today I feel fine too (well, it's only 9.15am) I do feel a little bruised I'm the uterine area, but only that I notice if I'm reaching up to get something or bending down to pick something up. Again, I'm not attributing that to anything but a large plastic tube poking into my womb 2 days ago.
I had a minute amount of brown spotting yesterday, so minute I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking out for it. Last time round I had more noticeable spotting so I feel like my cervix and womb has had an easier ride.
I'm not back at work until tomorrow and I'm going crazy! I know booking time off work was a good thing to do, but it's just me and the cats and the picture of our little embryo hanging above the fireplace. I, personally, don't think I can be blamed for googling myself silly. While googling I did notice SO MANY, mostly American, woman who had the whole two weeks off work. HOW DO THEY DO IT?! Clinics over here don't recommend ANY time away from work and encourage you to get back into your normal routine the day after transfer. Two weeks of bed rest and my mental health would be beyond recovery!
Last month I suffered from FET bipolar, this month I just have FET depression. The first two days are no different to our last negative cycle so I'm finding it difficult to stop being Eeyore and letting the black cloud follow me around. We're already talking about next cycle, then I get a pang of guilt incase the little guy is still there and can hear us. The most heart wrenching thing is knowing if it hasn't worked our embryo is already dead. It actually pains me.
Did I mention that official test day (June 5th) is the day I'm presenting at a conference all day? A conference which has been planned since January and there's no way out of it. Next week is SO busy that it simply isn't possible for me to have any time off at home no matter what the outcome of the cycle - if it is negative I'm going to struggle. A lot.
Votes for when we should test;
1) Sunday: I will only be 5dp5dt so it's still a little early although chances are could give an accurate result. It would give us the whole day together to grieve or celebrate (panic) before returning to work on Momday, but I don't want to test negative than convince myself it's too early and live I'm false hope.
2) Tuesday might : I will be 7dp5dt so should get an accurate result. BUT I will only test when we get home from work at 7pm, which gives me a whole day at the office to sit through. We usually head to bed around 9.30pm (we're old and get up at 5.30) so it would mean very little time to actually sit and process and quite possibly, a difficult sleepless night.
Which is the lesser of two evils?
Wednesday 28 May 2014
17hrsp5dt
It's only been 17 hours since transfer so I can't really say 1dp5dt just yet.
Transfer was as smooth as it was last time. They swapped the speculum half way through to a longer one to hold my cervix in place, but after a few minutes of soft prodding the catheter was through and I'm went the little embryo! We have another photo, but to be honest, it doesn't really mean much to us...we weren't given a grade or anything like that, all we know is that it wasn't a perfect last ocher, but it was deemed good enough to transfer and given a high enough chance of pregnancy that they felt confident using the theatre, two nurses, embryologist and equipment. The pros of this;
1) All we know is it is a 'viable' blast, which stops the obsessive comparison of embryo grade to success rates and spending hours googling what our chances are and either a) filling with false hope or b) becoming negative before we need to.
2) in the darkest of hours, provides a little glimmer of hope that no matter what, the clinic would NOT have wasted time putting this little snowflake back in if they didn't think there was a chance they could sign us off the books in 2 weeks.
The cons do this are;
1) I can't obsessively google trying to make myself feel better when it's 4am and I can't sleep;
2) I'm an eternal realist verging on pessimist, I would rather be armed with the facts, no matter how difficult they are to swallow, than have any false hope and be left heart broken. I have no facts.
I don't think they give the best quality photos. There isn't much magnification or easily distinguishable features. If you look carefully, which, only I would, it seems like the water bath they put the embryos in is 'vibrating' and they take the photo while it's doing so.
So, this is our little guy. I've decided getting a photo - worst idea ever. Google blastocyst - this little guy does not bear any resemblance to a 'normal' blast, which I've obviously decided means he's already left us. You can just make out two area where he's bursting out of his 'shell' and he was dividing away healthily until transfer so who knows. Thawed embryos aren't pretty, it's also pretty hard to find photos of thawed embryos online - needless to say non look like this. So I'll just step away from the computer.
It is now 4.33am and I can't sleep. I fell to sleep just fine around 11pm, but woke up around 40mins ago and my brain went into overdrive and I'm wide awake. It doesn't help that the bedroom is about a billion degrees, I have a snoring husband next to me and because the window is open to cool the room down I can hear the dawn chorus and the rain outside. Needless to say I think I'm awake for a while. This isn't unusual for me, and I would usually lay in bed tossing and turning for hours but I've been told when this happens I need to 'do something" and then my body should naturally get tired again. Normally, I take low dose sleeping tablets before bed which just about make sure I sleep through the night, but for the next 9 days I will not be taking any form of medication so I think a lot of lost sleep is going to happen. I believe the sleeping tablets I use are similar to Tylenol PM in the states, but without the painkillers, which I've been told is safe in pregnancy, but I still won't risk it around any possible implantation.
As for me, I think one negative cycle will all but destroy any positivity we both have and it's now been replaced with a horrid belief in 'reality', or at least what we've deemed reality. I think we're both geared up to see another BFN in 7 days time and as much as i want to shake that, it's pretty hard.
I sat on the sofa last night and told Martin I already knew it had failed - how could I possibly know?! I need to try and shake this dark cloud and forget about this as much as possible. I know some woman say they will just 'enjoy being PUPO while they still can' but for me, as heartless as it sounds, I think I'll only survive by trying to ignore I'm PUPO for as long as possible.
Well, now 5.08am, the rain is coming down harder and my 'doing stuff' hasn't helped as I'm still wide awake. To make matters worse I can hear Colin on the landing and if he hears me awake, he won't stop meowing until I'm up.
Transfer was as smooth as it was last time. They swapped the speculum half way through to a longer one to hold my cervix in place, but after a few minutes of soft prodding the catheter was through and I'm went the little embryo! We have another photo, but to be honest, it doesn't really mean much to us...we weren't given a grade or anything like that, all we know is that it wasn't a perfect last ocher, but it was deemed good enough to transfer and given a high enough chance of pregnancy that they felt confident using the theatre, two nurses, embryologist and equipment. The pros of this;
1) All we know is it is a 'viable' blast, which stops the obsessive comparison of embryo grade to success rates and spending hours googling what our chances are and either a) filling with false hope or b) becoming negative before we need to.
2) in the darkest of hours, provides a little glimmer of hope that no matter what, the clinic would NOT have wasted time putting this little snowflake back in if they didn't think there was a chance they could sign us off the books in 2 weeks.
The cons do this are;
1) I can't obsessively google trying to make myself feel better when it's 4am and I can't sleep;
2) I'm an eternal realist verging on pessimist, I would rather be armed with the facts, no matter how difficult they are to swallow, than have any false hope and be left heart broken. I have no facts.
I don't think they give the best quality photos. There isn't much magnification or easily distinguishable features. If you look carefully, which, only I would, it seems like the water bath they put the embryos in is 'vibrating' and they take the photo while it's doing so.
So, this is our little guy. I've decided getting a photo - worst idea ever. Google blastocyst - this little guy does not bear any resemblance to a 'normal' blast, which I've obviously decided means he's already left us. You can just make out two area where he's bursting out of his 'shell' and he was dividing away healthily until transfer so who knows. Thawed embryos aren't pretty, it's also pretty hard to find photos of thawed embryos online - needless to say non look like this. So I'll just step away from the computer.
It is now 4.33am and I can't sleep. I fell to sleep just fine around 11pm, but woke up around 40mins ago and my brain went into overdrive and I'm wide awake. It doesn't help that the bedroom is about a billion degrees, I have a snoring husband next to me and because the window is open to cool the room down I can hear the dawn chorus and the rain outside. Needless to say I think I'm awake for a while. This isn't unusual for me, and I would usually lay in bed tossing and turning for hours but I've been told when this happens I need to 'do something" and then my body should naturally get tired again. Normally, I take low dose sleeping tablets before bed which just about make sure I sleep through the night, but for the next 9 days I will not be taking any form of medication so I think a lot of lost sleep is going to happen. I believe the sleeping tablets I use are similar to Tylenol PM in the states, but without the painkillers, which I've been told is safe in pregnancy, but I still won't risk it around any possible implantation.
As for me, I think one negative cycle will all but destroy any positivity we both have and it's now been replaced with a horrid belief in 'reality', or at least what we've deemed reality. I think we're both geared up to see another BFN in 7 days time and as much as i want to shake that, it's pretty hard.
I sat on the sofa last night and told Martin I already knew it had failed - how could I possibly know?! I need to try and shake this dark cloud and forget about this as much as possible. I know some woman say they will just 'enjoy being PUPO while they still can' but for me, as heartless as it sounds, I think I'll only survive by trying to ignore I'm PUPO for as long as possible.
Well, now 5.08am, the rain is coming down harder and my 'doing stuff' hasn't helped as I'm still wide awake. To make matters worse I can hear Colin on the landing and if he hears me awake, he won't stop meowing until I'm up.
Tuesday 27 May 2014
Here we go
Embryologist was supposed to call between 9-10am to let us know how our little snowie was getting on. The last few times they've called late, which has almost driven us to madness, this morning they called at 8.50am - obviously I was convinced the quick call was because it was bad news. Well, I was wrong. Our first little snowie made it safe and sound through thaw and is now waiting for us at the lab. 2 hours until we're re-united. Don't know much about them, just that they're a five day blast who survived a thaw...that means we still have two blasts on ice if this cycle fails. They said they expected a 60-70% thaw rate, so I guess we realistically have one left after this transfer.
Panic panic panic panic.
N.B. - the embryologist said "he" survived the thaw. Which is weird, but I like to think even though they don't know they make them a little more human by referring to them as he or she.
Panic panic panic panic.
N.B. - the embryologist said "he" survived the thaw. Which is weird, but I like to think even though they don't know they make them a little more human by referring to them as he or she.
Monday 26 May 2014
Preparation for transfer
I've just been an showered and shaved my legs, bikini area, armpits everything. If there's unwanted hair there I've just shaved it. I've also washed my hair twice to make sure all the product is out of it and washed my body from top to toe in non-scented body wash. Just in case. If I had a huge bottle of anti-bacterial in the house I would have washed in it.
4DPO
Tomorrow I will be PUPO for the second time in as any months. Now I'm starting to panic!
Edit: just had the call from the embryologist to check they were thawing one transferring one. She mentioned they would thaw through all of them until they got a 'survivor' if they needed to.
11am. Now I really am panicking
Edit: just had the call from the embryologist to check they were thawing one transferring one. She mentioned they would thaw through all of them until they got a 'survivor' if they needed to.
11am. Now I really am panicking
Saturday 24 May 2014
CD23
3 days til transfer. The butterflies in my tummy haven't hit me yet, but I'm sure they will. Have booked some extra days off work so I won't be going back until 3dp5dt.
Meanwhile, today is the day my MIL is visiting. Lord give me strength
Meanwhile, today is the day my MIL is visiting. Lord give me strength
Wednesday 21 May 2014
CD20 all stations are go!
I'm ovulating :D
Of course I couldn't just trust my blood results, I had to do an OPK as soon as I got home and sure enough a blazing positive.
Transfer will be Tuesday 27th May. Now just to hope one of our little snowies make it through thaw.
Of course I couldn't just trust my blood results, I had to do an OPK as soon as I got home and sure enough a blazing positive.
Transfer will be Tuesday 27th May. Now just to hope one of our little snowies make it through thaw.
Well bugger me!
So 4 days ago we have no follies over 10mm, lining had apparently shrunk down from 8mm to 6mm and my hormone levels were lowest of the low...
Today I have on 16mm follicle, a 10mm "lovely" lining, an almost positive ovulation test and blood work showing that I'm well the road to ovulation.
Transfer number 2 27th or 28th May (my Dads birthday is 28th)
Quickest turn around in history, or the shittest nurse ever on Saturday?
Today I have on 16mm follicle, a 10mm "lovely" lining, an almost positive ovulation test and blood work showing that I'm well the road to ovulation.
Transfer number 2 27th or 28th May (my Dads birthday is 28th)
Quickest turn around in history, or the shittest nurse ever on Saturday?
Monday 19 May 2014
CD18....
So I never got round to updating on Saturday.
I called the clinic at 2pm and was prepared for an answer either way, alas, I never got one.
Blood tests were inconclusive. Oestrogen was on the low side, but not low enough for them to cancel the cycle due to lack of ovulation. They weren't high enough to indicate ovulation was definitely going to occur either. So I'm back tomorrow for a scan to see whats going on, if the follicle has grown then it's a late bloomer if it hasn't it's rolled over and gone back to sleep.
You know this is all my fault. It was suggested to me that vitamin B12 helps to improve quality, which it does! But doofus over here decided to buy vitamin B complex to take while I was waiting for my B12 patches to be delivered...this vitamin B complex contained 143% RDA of vitamin B6, vitamin B6 that is well documented to delay or even stop ovulation all together... here is just one of the HUNDREDS of stories of woman taking B6 to delay ovulation http://www.tcoyf.com/forums/t/156745.aspx
I stopped taking it 5 days ago so lets hope this egg is growing!
I called the clinic at 2pm and was prepared for an answer either way, alas, I never got one.
Blood tests were inconclusive. Oestrogen was on the low side, but not low enough for them to cancel the cycle due to lack of ovulation. They weren't high enough to indicate ovulation was definitely going to occur either. So I'm back tomorrow for a scan to see whats going on, if the follicle has grown then it's a late bloomer if it hasn't it's rolled over and gone back to sleep.
You know this is all my fault. It was suggested to me that vitamin B12 helps to improve quality, which it does! But doofus over here decided to buy vitamin B complex to take while I was waiting for my B12 patches to be delivered...this vitamin B complex contained 143% RDA of vitamin B6, vitamin B6 that is well documented to delay or even stop ovulation all together... here is just one of the HUNDREDS of stories of woman taking B6 to delay ovulation http://www.tcoyf.com/forums/t/156745.aspx
I stopped taking it 5 days ago so lets hope this egg is growing!
Saturday 17 May 2014
CD16 FER#2
Well here we were panicking about ovulating on Tuesday and it turns out I might not be ovulating at all. Sigh.
This isn't getting any easier.
Had the scan and follicles haven't grown at all since Tuesday and my lining is starting to build up but isn't showing the three layers it should be. It's either;
A) a very slow and very long cycle with very late ovulation
B) Annovulatory cycle and I'm simply not going to ovulate.
They've taken bloods and will base the next steps on my oestrogen levels.
Low = cancelled cycle
Mid-Range = keep waiting for ovulation
I'm starting to get pretty pissed off with the world. 5 hours until I can make the call to find out.
This isn't getting any easier.
Had the scan and follicles haven't grown at all since Tuesday and my lining is starting to build up but isn't showing the three layers it should be. It's either;
A) a very slow and very long cycle with very late ovulation
B) Annovulatory cycle and I'm simply not going to ovulate.
They've taken bloods and will base the next steps on my oestrogen levels.
Low = cancelled cycle
Mid-Range = keep waiting for ovulation
I'm starting to get pretty pissed off with the world. 5 hours until I can make the call to find out.
Tuesday 13 May 2014
CD12 FER #2
My blog title looks like some secret code...
Well back to the clinic again this morning to begin 'OV WATCH 2014'. Because we're doing completely natural cycles we are at complete and utter mercy of my body...sheesh.
Day 12 - 2 dominant follies, one measuring 11mm and one 10mm, so still lots of growing to do yet.
Back in 4 days to see how they're getting on. Once again we're running the risk of natural ovulation occurring on a Tuesday, which means transfer day would be Sunday. Which they don't do. So we're still at risk of a cancelled cycle.
Does the stress ever end?!
I have dominant follicles but a TON of other sizeable ones. At least 5-10 smaller ones on each ovary. If it wasn't for my regular cycle I'd definitely be in the PCO/S camp.
Well back to the clinic again this morning to begin 'OV WATCH 2014'. Because we're doing completely natural cycles we are at complete and utter mercy of my body...sheesh.
Day 12 - 2 dominant follies, one measuring 11mm and one 10mm, so still lots of growing to do yet.
Back in 4 days to see how they're getting on. Once again we're running the risk of natural ovulation occurring on a Tuesday, which means transfer day would be Sunday. Which they don't do. So we're still at risk of a cancelled cycle.
Does the stress ever end?!
I have dominant follicles but a TON of other sizeable ones. At least 5-10 smaller ones on each ovary. If it wasn't for my regular cycle I'd definitely be in the PCO/S camp.
Thursday 8 May 2014
Annoyance
My rant today is how people who have never actually gone through IVF feel like they have any say over the ethics of ot or how it should be improved.
Excuse me, are you going through it? No. Have you been given all the HFEA paper work aimed to fully inform all patients of what is ethically involved in IVF? If you answered no to the first, it'll be no to the second.
So get off your high horse discussing the rights and wrongs of it unless you are living it. You imbecile.
In other news. Now we are...CD7 and 5 days until scan number one. Scary how quickly this is happening. In 10 days time I could potentially be awaiting transfer...
Argh!
Excuse me, are you going through it? No. Have you been given all the HFEA paper work aimed to fully inform all patients of what is ethically involved in IVF? If you answered no to the first, it'll be no to the second.
So get off your high horse discussing the rights and wrongs of it unless you are living it. You imbecile.
In other news. Now we are...CD7 and 5 days until scan number one. Scary how quickly this is happening. In 10 days time I could potentially be awaiting transfer...
Argh!
Tuesday 6 May 2014
CD5 FER número dos
Today is one week since the great BFN saga, and one week until our first scan of FER #2. In 3 weeks we'll have BFN number 2 or BFP number 2.
Sheesh
Sheesh
Friday 2 May 2014
Jeez Louise....
Today I discovered that since having my gallbladder surgery and starting the bulk of our IVF/FER treatment, I've gained almost 12 pounds!
Urgh. Now my belly is increasing for the wrong reason. Hormone injections and comfort eating do not make for a good summer body!
Urgh. Now my belly is increasing for the wrong reason. Hormone injections and comfort eating do not make for a good summer body!
Thursday 1 May 2014
Cycle Day 1 - FET numero dos
At least AF is as punctual as ever, announcing her arrival shortly after arriving home from my blood tests. I told the nurse I had cheated and knew it was negative, she seemed almost shocked. As if I was the only woman to do so. I need to call at 1.30pm for the result, although at this point it almost seems cruel.
Two things that added to the misery of this morning;
1) Arriving at the reception desk at the clinic and waiting while the lady in front was dealt with. The receptionist seemed to be struggling to locate her details, and since I'm very nosey and the clinic is very quiet, I could hear everything that was being said.
Receptionist: "I really can't find you. What's your date of birth?"
Woman: "26.12.81"
Receptionist: "Nope. What is it you're here for again, bloods?"
Woman: "No. My 12 week scan"
Receptionist: "This is the IVF clinic...."
Woman: "Oh! Right, no I definitely don't need that"
Receptionist: "Well I think you better go next door to the pregnancy clinic"
2) Sitting in the waiting room and realising that sitting next to us is a toddler. I'd say he was around 1-2 years old, sat on his Mums knee in the waiting room of the IF clinic. Fair enough, he could have been an IVF baby and mum is here for number two, or maybe she was watching him for a friend, but please, have the decency to think that taking a baby into an infertility clinic is NOT going to go down very well. Especially when said baby is toddling around the room showing all the couple his "ca" (I think he means car) and grabbing onto the legs of the people waiting for blood tests and egg collection, or even worst, the confirmation of a failed treatment cycle.
Luckily he didn't approach me with his car, as I had genuinely planned to get up and walk to the other waiting room down the corridor.
Sigh.
I planned to go back into work this morning, couldn't face it. Luckily, my manager has also recently experienced a failed IVF cycle and she is very understanding and told me to take what time I needed. Still, Fridays are quiet in the office so tomorrow will be a good day to go back and get into the swing of things. An added bonus is it is then a three day weekend over in England for the bank holiday, so I don't have to suffer a Monday.
Two things that added to the misery of this morning;
1) Arriving at the reception desk at the clinic and waiting while the lady in front was dealt with. The receptionist seemed to be struggling to locate her details, and since I'm very nosey and the clinic is very quiet, I could hear everything that was being said.
Receptionist: "I really can't find you. What's your date of birth?"
Woman: "26.12.81"
Receptionist: "Nope. What is it you're here for again, bloods?"
Woman: "No. My 12 week scan"
Receptionist: "This is the IVF clinic...."
Woman: "Oh! Right, no I definitely don't need that"
Receptionist: "Well I think you better go next door to the pregnancy clinic"
2) Sitting in the waiting room and realising that sitting next to us is a toddler. I'd say he was around 1-2 years old, sat on his Mums knee in the waiting room of the IF clinic. Fair enough, he could have been an IVF baby and mum is here for number two, or maybe she was watching him for a friend, but please, have the decency to think that taking a baby into an infertility clinic is NOT going to go down very well. Especially when said baby is toddling around the room showing all the couple his "ca" (I think he means car) and grabbing onto the legs of the people waiting for blood tests and egg collection, or even worst, the confirmation of a failed treatment cycle.
Luckily he didn't approach me with his car, as I had genuinely planned to get up and walk to the other waiting room down the corridor.
Sigh.
I planned to go back into work this morning, couldn't face it. Luckily, my manager has also recently experienced a failed IVF cycle and she is very understanding and told me to take what time I needed. Still, Fridays are quiet in the office so tomorrow will be a good day to go back and get into the swing of things. An added bonus is it is then a three day weekend over in England for the bank holiday, so I don't have to suffer a Monday.
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