My alarm went off at 7am this morning to wake me up in time to watch the final of the Australian Open. 7am in a Sunday!!
We got up, made an amazing Sunday morning breakfast of gammon, scrambled egg, mushrooms, beans and toast and settled down to watch. I get so emotional over tennis, hide behind pillows, scream, swear, shout!
So Andy Murray didn't win, Djokovic was a deserving winner! Neither of the players had a bad game, in fact they both played amaingly, it was just that Novak happened to play better in the day. Well done Novak Djokovic!
After tennis we crawled back into bed for a siesta and slept until 3pm! Eeeek, I had to thrown myself into the shower to wake up and carry on the day afterwards.
Now Martin is making me a Turkish delight got chocolate with marshmallows AND we have the day off together tomorrow, yay!
If my cycle follows the usual pattern March 18th will be cycle day one of my first IUI cycle, the Monday after we move into our new home on the Saturday. Plenty to do and should keep us busy. Excited, nervous, scared and hopeful. Fingers crossed. If all else fails, at least I have Indian Wells masters to look forward to in March.
Steph x
Sunday 27 January 2013
Friday 25 January 2013
Stepping away from IF....
Today has been a tense day. Not because of work, not because of IF, and not because AF is still continuing to cripple me on CD5, but because of tennis.
Tennis!
Of all things! To set the scene I have never been much of a sports fan, ever! I used to enjoy playing tennis in school, and would always watch Wimbledon during the summer, but that was about it. This June I was unemployed and sat at home alone for most of the day doing my examining, therefore I watched pretty much every Wimbledon match that was played, and became a little but obsessed with tennis.
Since then I've religiously kept up to date with every tournament and competition, and more worryingly, have developed a love for this man.
Tennis!
Of all things! To set the scene I have never been much of a sports fan, ever! I used to enjoy playing tennis in school, and would always watch Wimbledon during the summer, but that was about it. This June I was unemployed and sat at home alone for most of the day doing my examining, therefore I watched pretty much every Wimbledon match that was played, and became a little but obsessed with tennis.
Since then I've religiously kept up to date with every tournament and competition, and more worryingly, have developed a love for this man.
I understand a love for Andy Murray is quite strange, but I have come to terms with it. Just like the fact that at the age of 25 I still love drinking Cream Soda, and I'm not American. Anyway I digress...
I don't know if it's the whole back story, the unloved and abused Scotsman who is often taken out of context and a little bit like Marmit to many of the British tennis fans, or the way my heart melted watching him cry when he lost the final of Wimbledon, but I have to finally admit it. I'm a little bit obsessed with Muzzah. And his muscles and often miserable face.
So today was the AO semi-final, luckily I had a free diary at work and internet access. Hence me completing paper work and being able to watch the whole game at the same time. Such a deserved win over the GOAT, and such a tense game. My love for tennis has further been cemented.
I will be up at 5am on Sunday in preparation for the final, and will no doubt end up cowering behind a pillow shouting obscenities at the TV.
Come on Murray!!
Tuesday 22 January 2013
infertility + life + work = ????
So, after the initial excitement of IUI subsided, as per usual I found something to worry about!
Heres the official schedule for IUI (No dates yet obviously, but it goes a little something like this)
Stimulated IUI - Step Down Process using FSH, Suprecur and Ovitrelle Trigger (used for u/e infertility)
FSH - This hormone directly affects the production and maturation of egg follicles. Women with ovulation problems or those undergoing assisted reproductive technology (ART) will receive FSH injections to help stimulate the ovaries to produce mature eggs.
Suprecur - . This belongs to a group of medicines called gonadotropin releasing hormone analogues. This is a synthetic version of a hormone that occurs naturally in the body. It works by lowering the production of sex hormones.It works by stopping the natural production of hormones that control ovulation. Synthetic hormones are then used to artificially stimulate ovulation
Ovitrelle - Once the follicles have developed appropriately, one injection of Ovitrelle is administered. The choriogonadotropin in the Ovitrelle injection mimics the action of luteinising hormone. It is given to cause the release of eggs from the ovary in women who have problems with ovulation.
CD 1
Call the centre as soon as AF arrives (or within office hours...) to let centre know you're coming in for treatment.
CD 2
Attend the hospital for blood tests and a scan to check everything is 'ready' for treatment. I will then collect my medications and be taught how to inject (should be fun for a needle phobic woman). Call centre between 2 and 3.30pm for results to check I can start injections and discuss dose, usual dose is 0.5 micrograms once a day given as subcutaneous injection. (great...)
CD 3
Return to hospital again for another blood test to measure levels of oestrogen. The increase from day two gives the hospital a guide of the dose of FSH to use. Ring results line between 2-3.30 again for information.
FSH is then administered once a day in the evenings - more needles.
CD 7
Continue with FSH and Suprecur and go into hospital for scan on 7th day to monitor the response from the ovaries. Will be told when to return for the next scan
These days are now 'averages' for a 28 day cycle, I have a regular 31 day cycle so these might be a little out
CD 10
Blood tests and more scans to check reaction from ovaries and decide on when trigger shot should be given.
Trigger shot is given when I have 3 or under follicles that are 17mm or under.
CD 12
Usual trigger shot adminitration day.
CD 14
Insemination
CD 14 -28
Luteal support with progesterone gel once daily in the mornings
CD 28
Return to clinic for HPT. (Yeah right, as if i'll be able to wait that long)
So there is the schedule for IUI. I understand its no where near as hectic as an IVF schedule but, its going to require a lot of time off work. A lot of time off work that will be given at short notice.
This could go on for 3 months.
I'm really worried about work and what to do. I think my boss will be understanding, as she is really approachable and I have been able to talk to her in the past. BUT I can also see it from a business point of view, do they want to keep an employee on who will be taking time off work, with the possibility of becoming pregnant at the end of it? (I'm also convinved my boss has had some ART, she's an older woman, probably about early to mid 50's, has been married for 25 years and has once 13 year old son...obviously my head that means infertility issues...see what this does to me?!)
I'm sort of in employment limbo at the moment. My position with the university was a brand new one when I started, so was a temp 12 month contract, I have been told unofficially that that has been extended for a further 12 months, meaning I have my job until July 2014. If this is true it shouldn't matter too much about me getting pregnant, if I ever do.
Say I got pregnant on my third IUI, that would be July time, which would mean a little Briggs' would be due in April. April is the end of the academic year when the students leave, so if I left the job it would be at a quiet time of year and only 2 months before my contract ended anyway. That would be OK.
Spanners in the works
1) The job extension is currently ONLY unofficial, whats to stop them completing the paper work once I come clean about my infertility treatments?
2) I don't particularly like my job, and it isn't permanent. I'm used to being a full time teacher with very little time to do anything but teach and plan, this job is so completely laid back and opposite Im having difficulty coping with it. I often take 2 days a week and work from home, because there is no point in me travelling in to work when I have nothing in my diary. Staff are very busy doing their own things so often too busy to meet with me, and if I'm honest I would LOVE to get back into a full time teaching role with younger students. The perfect job has come up close to home, full time, permanent, but starts in June. Im in no position to be starting a new teaching position smack bang in the middle of fertility treatments, with the possibility of finally becoming pregnant.
3) You will all remember me rambling and ranting about the NHS messing up our fertility referral when we moved back home. During the midst of this great NHS cock up, I got this job and we moved about 20 miles away, which just so happens to fall under a completely different primary care trust. I'm being naughty and still have my medical address as my childhood home, as I refuse to take another 6 month hit being transferred to ANOTHER hospital for the sake of 20 miles.
This is the difficulty with home, hospital and work.
Getting from our house to the hospital in Sheffield takes around 35mins, not a problem at all. Getting from my house to work in the car takes around 45 mins (in good traffic) BUT getting from the hopital to work takes around 90 mins in good traffic. Therefore just having a few hours or a morning/afternoon off work will be tricky.
4) After all this time trying to get pregnant, now is the only time I've stated to panic about finances and what we'll do. Currently we're living quite comfortably, bills are paid, food is bought, we can afford a few date nights here and there. But if I get pregnant, Im out of a job and we'll have to live on Martins wage which is good, but a bit lower than mine. We can live on Martins wage, but not in our current situation. (house, car, bills etc...) so I'm also panicking about that. Although rest assured, as selfish as it sounds, I wont let money stop us from being parents.
Argh, my elation and happy elephant has started to subside and I know feel more like this
Heres the official schedule for IUI (No dates yet obviously, but it goes a little something like this)
Stimulated IUI - Step Down Process using FSH, Suprecur and Ovitrelle Trigger (used for u/e infertility)
FSH - This hormone directly affects the production and maturation of egg follicles. Women with ovulation problems or those undergoing assisted reproductive technology (ART) will receive FSH injections to help stimulate the ovaries to produce mature eggs.
Suprecur - . This belongs to a group of medicines called gonadotropin releasing hormone analogues. This is a synthetic version of a hormone that occurs naturally in the body. It works by lowering the production of sex hormones.It works by stopping the natural production of hormones that control ovulation. Synthetic hormones are then used to artificially stimulate ovulation
Ovitrelle - Once the follicles have developed appropriately, one injection of Ovitrelle is administered. The choriogonadotropin in the Ovitrelle injection mimics the action of luteinising hormone. It is given to cause the release of eggs from the ovary in women who have problems with ovulation.
CD 1
Call the centre as soon as AF arrives (or within office hours...) to let centre know you're coming in for treatment.
CD 2
Attend the hospital for blood tests and a scan to check everything is 'ready' for treatment. I will then collect my medications and be taught how to inject (should be fun for a needle phobic woman). Call centre between 2 and 3.30pm for results to check I can start injections and discuss dose, usual dose is 0.5 micrograms once a day given as subcutaneous injection. (great...)
CD 3
Return to hospital again for another blood test to measure levels of oestrogen. The increase from day two gives the hospital a guide of the dose of FSH to use. Ring results line between 2-3.30 again for information.
FSH is then administered once a day in the evenings - more needles.
CD 7
Continue with FSH and Suprecur and go into hospital for scan on 7th day to monitor the response from the ovaries. Will be told when to return for the next scan
These days are now 'averages' for a 28 day cycle, I have a regular 31 day cycle so these might be a little out
CD 10
Blood tests and more scans to check reaction from ovaries and decide on when trigger shot should be given.
Trigger shot is given when I have 3 or under follicles that are 17mm or under.
CD 12
Usual trigger shot adminitration day.
CD 14
Insemination
CD 14 -28
Luteal support with progesterone gel once daily in the mornings
CD 28
Return to clinic for HPT. (Yeah right, as if i'll be able to wait that long)
So there is the schedule for IUI. I understand its no where near as hectic as an IVF schedule but, its going to require a lot of time off work. A lot of time off work that will be given at short notice.
This could go on for 3 months.
I'm really worried about work and what to do. I think my boss will be understanding, as she is really approachable and I have been able to talk to her in the past. BUT I can also see it from a business point of view, do they want to keep an employee on who will be taking time off work, with the possibility of becoming pregnant at the end of it? (I'm also convinved my boss has had some ART, she's an older woman, probably about early to mid 50's, has been married for 25 years and has once 13 year old son...obviously my head that means infertility issues...see what this does to me?!)
I'm sort of in employment limbo at the moment. My position with the university was a brand new one when I started, so was a temp 12 month contract, I have been told unofficially that that has been extended for a further 12 months, meaning I have my job until July 2014. If this is true it shouldn't matter too much about me getting pregnant, if I ever do.
Say I got pregnant on my third IUI, that would be July time, which would mean a little Briggs' would be due in April. April is the end of the academic year when the students leave, so if I left the job it would be at a quiet time of year and only 2 months before my contract ended anyway. That would be OK.
Spanners in the works
1) The job extension is currently ONLY unofficial, whats to stop them completing the paper work once I come clean about my infertility treatments?
2) I don't particularly like my job, and it isn't permanent. I'm used to being a full time teacher with very little time to do anything but teach and plan, this job is so completely laid back and opposite Im having difficulty coping with it. I often take 2 days a week and work from home, because there is no point in me travelling in to work when I have nothing in my diary. Staff are very busy doing their own things so often too busy to meet with me, and if I'm honest I would LOVE to get back into a full time teaching role with younger students. The perfect job has come up close to home, full time, permanent, but starts in June. Im in no position to be starting a new teaching position smack bang in the middle of fertility treatments, with the possibility of finally becoming pregnant.
3) You will all remember me rambling and ranting about the NHS messing up our fertility referral when we moved back home. During the midst of this great NHS cock up, I got this job and we moved about 20 miles away, which just so happens to fall under a completely different primary care trust. I'm being naughty and still have my medical address as my childhood home, as I refuse to take another 6 month hit being transferred to ANOTHER hospital for the sake of 20 miles.
This is the difficulty with home, hospital and work.
Getting from our house to the hospital in Sheffield takes around 35mins, not a problem at all. Getting from my house to work in the car takes around 45 mins (in good traffic) BUT getting from the hopital to work takes around 90 mins in good traffic. Therefore just having a few hours or a morning/afternoon off work will be tricky.
4) After all this time trying to get pregnant, now is the only time I've stated to panic about finances and what we'll do. Currently we're living quite comfortably, bills are paid, food is bought, we can afford a few date nights here and there. But if I get pregnant, Im out of a job and we'll have to live on Martins wage which is good, but a bit lower than mine. We can live on Martins wage, but not in our current situation. (house, car, bills etc...) so I'm also panicking about that. Although rest assured, as selfish as it sounds, I wont let money stop us from being parents.
Argh, my elation and happy elephant has started to subside and I know feel more like this
But I know I should be grateful, as I have the opportunity many don't.
Steph
Friday 18 January 2013
Lack of artistic direction
Sorry for the constant editing of my blog the past few days, I realised my blog looked exactly the same as a friend of mine and was confusing myself. Promise this one will stay for a while!
Steph
Steph
FINALLY!!!!
Got a call from my dear Dad last night to say there was a letter from the hospital for me, I have my cardio appointment!!
This is how this makes me feel!!!
I thought it would be another 18 week wait for my appointment so didn't even think about IUI until May time, but our appointment is 25th February! yay!!
The fertility specialist said I should wait a week to give the paper work time to get to the Assisted Reproduction Team, then give her a call for a phone consultation and she'll sign us off for IUI straight away. I've already checked and I will be calling her on 4th March, my next cycle will begin 14th March. With any luck that will be our very first IUI cycle! I don't want to get too optimistic, as I keep thinking "If I don't think it's going to work, I won't be disappointed when it doesn't" but I've been researching on line, and most of the IUI success stories are from people who use injectibles, rather than have natural cycle IUI. As we'll be using injectibles, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting slightly excited. I need to remind myself that it's still only a 20% chance.
So it's taken three years, one miscarriage, about 30 blood tests, one HSG, one TV Ultrasound, two SA's, more blood tests, a brain tumour scare, changing fertility specialist and being 'lost in the system for 6 months', 4 months of Clomid and no BFP to get to this point. We're ready for SOMETHING to happen, anything.
IF (and its a big if) everything goes to plan, I'll be testing on March 28th, one month before my 25th birthday. Would I ever imagine that before the age of 25 I had already seen the world of infertility and know it all too well? No. But whilst in my first year of university, 7 years ago, my best friend and I sat down and made a 'life plan' (we were probably putting off revision) our life plans consisted of;
This is how this makes me feel!!!
I thought it would be another 18 week wait for my appointment so didn't even think about IUI until May time, but our appointment is 25th February! yay!!
The fertility specialist said I should wait a week to give the paper work time to get to the Assisted Reproduction Team, then give her a call for a phone consultation and she'll sign us off for IUI straight away. I've already checked and I will be calling her on 4th March, my next cycle will begin 14th March. With any luck that will be our very first IUI cycle! I don't want to get too optimistic, as I keep thinking "If I don't think it's going to work, I won't be disappointed when it doesn't" but I've been researching on line, and most of the IUI success stories are from people who use injectibles, rather than have natural cycle IUI. As we'll be using injectibles, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting slightly excited. I need to remind myself that it's still only a 20% chance.
So it's taken three years, one miscarriage, about 30 blood tests, one HSG, one TV Ultrasound, two SA's, more blood tests, a brain tumour scare, changing fertility specialist and being 'lost in the system for 6 months', 4 months of Clomid and no BFP to get to this point. We're ready for SOMETHING to happen, anything.
IF (and its a big if) everything goes to plan, I'll be testing on March 28th, one month before my 25th birthday. Would I ever imagine that before the age of 25 I had already seen the world of infertility and know it all too well? No. But whilst in my first year of university, 7 years ago, my best friend and I sat down and made a 'life plan' (we were probably putting off revision) our life plans consisted of;
- Getting our teaching degrees - CHECK
- getting married - CHECK
- having our own houses - SORT OF.
- not being skint - SORT OF
- having a baby at about 25 - Can I even be as bold as to think this is still possible?
I bloody well hope so.
Signing off
Strangely optimistic Steph (still the same person, I promise!)
Monday 14 January 2013
I'm alive...promise
I should not start a blog and then only update it bi-annually. Sorry!
As most of my entries end up being semi-novel like posts, I have to have a good 45minutes free to sit and bash away at a keyboard to update. Luckily for me, I have a completely clear diary at work today and lots to say, so I can update. Yipee!!
So a lot has happeed since December 3rd. Christmas, New Year, follow up appointment with the Fertility Specialist. Hold on to your hats, lots to talk about!
Christmas
Was lovely!
I finished work on December 21st and booked some time off in January, so had a whole 2 weeks off. It was great. We put up our tree;
As most of my entries end up being semi-novel like posts, I have to have a good 45minutes free to sit and bash away at a keyboard to update. Luckily for me, I have a completely clear diary at work today and lots to say, so I can update. Yipee!!
So a lot has happeed since December 3rd. Christmas, New Year, follow up appointment with the Fertility Specialist. Hold on to your hats, lots to talk about!
Christmas
Was lovely!
I finished work on December 21st and booked some time off in January, so had a whole 2 weeks off. It was great. We put up our tree;
Rearranged out whole living room to accommodate said tree; (panoramic view...snazzy)
Bought lots of presents, ate, drank and were merry!
I've moaned a lot about our stupid finances due to the sheer amount of money we throw away at trains and cars, BUT in December, due to my two weeks off work and overlap in train ticket, I didn't need to fork out another £230 for a monthly train ticket so we had that to spend on Christmas! Its the first month in a long time where we've felt comfortable with money and not had to worry, its also the first Christmas where we've been able to buy each other presents!
I bought Martin a very lovely watch as he broke his other;
In return I got some Creepers, some new clothes and some new plugs for my ever expanding ears!
We had Christmas dinner with Martins family which was really nice. Sadly his beloved Grandad was diagnosed with bowel cancer just before Christmas, so it meant a lot to us to spend time with him around Christmas. Plus it's the first 'family' Christmas I've had for around 4 years now. In the evening we spent time with my family at my Uncles House and then went back to our own bed for some well needed sleep. The next day my Dad and Grandparents were coming round and we were in charge of cooking a whole Christmas dinner.
This included setting about 20 different alarms, writing an army-like plan of what needed doing when, erecting a garden table in our living room to disguise as a dining table, and sitting on camping chairs. But it worked!
Only bad thing about Christmas, my stupid stomach. Perfect timing and all, about a week before Christmas my tablets I take to stop acid production (to help the ulcers) stopped worked. I always know a bad patch is about to happen when I begin waking up at 2-3am in the night with horrific stomach pains. Sadly the only way I can make them go away is to throw up anything (or nothing as the case my be) thats in my stomach. So although Christmas was lovely, not one meal (even Christmas Dinner) stayed in my body for longer than 30 minutes. It's not even that I don't want to eat, I'm starving, but anything will put me in agony even water.
The pain got so bad just after New Year that Martin took me to the hospital at 9pm one evening. After 4 hours of waiting to see a doctor we were finally called threw. Now, I know everyone has to start somewhere and learn, but the doctor we saw was clearly a junior, and clearly had no idea what he was talking about. He asked if I had tried drinking milk?!!?? (The first misconception around stomach ulcers/gastritus/heartburn etc.. is to drink milk. Milk soothes it for around 20 minutes but is difficult to break down, so the stomach produces more acid to get rid of it...not what you want). He asked what medication I had tried, I told him everything, I told him I had tried double dosing, I told him pain medication didnt work, I told him I hadn't slept a whole night or eaten a whole meal for almost 2 weeks. His response? "I dont know what we can do, see your GP on Monday. Heres some codeine"
So aswell as seeing a fertility specialist and a cardiologist, I am now on the waiting list to see a gastrologist too. The GP was great when I went to see him, he did say that sadly, there wasn't much more they could give me without an expert seeing whats going on, but as we are trying to have a baby, rather than give me prescription after prescription, he would send me straight to the specialist. So thats where we are with that.
Follow up FS appointment.
Was good and bad. You may recall me mentioning that no treatment could be carried out until I had the all clear from the cardiologist? Well, surprise surprise, the NHS hadn't sent me out a cardiologist appointment prior to our FS appointment. So we were still stuck.
Test Results - Try not to laugh. Both Martin and myself are super fertile. Honestly, you can't make this shit up. My eggs are of 'exemplary' quality, all of my hormones are as perfect as you could want them and my ovaries, tubes and womb is text book fantastic. Martins SA came back showing that his count was brilliant, his swimmers were strong, doing the right thing and plenty of them. There is no explanation as to why we can't get pregnant. By right, 2.5years of not using protection, we should be on our third child. Alas, we are not.
We still can't do any treatment until I have the green light from the cardiologist. The specialist (who we love) was very apologetic and also angry FOR us that the appointments hadn't been made. She called and arranged all paper work to be faxed through while we were in the office with her, and gave us her office phone number with the instructions to call if we havne't had a cardio appointment within the next month so she can chase it up. She explained that there was no point in us waiting another 3 months just for another consultation, SO agreed that the next appointment can be done over the phone and she would immediately put us though to the next stage of treatment. Stimulated Intrauterine Insemination. (SIUI for short)
S IUI
S IUI, as we've explained it to our familys, is a bit like IVF, except they dont take the eggs out. I know as of my fellow IF-ers will know that is completely wrong, but I can't think of a better way to explain it.
Stimulated IUI means that my hormones and cycles will be complete shut down using medication, and then started back up again using more medication. This will mean daily injections, tablets, blood tests and scans. Honest. I think that people assume that when you go through any sort of ART (assissted reproduction technique) you walk in, they put a baby inside, you leave. We wish. having read all the paper work only once, I can't remember all of this, but it's something like this....(I will put up a proper schedule when I have it infront of me)
Day 1 - 3 daily monitoring and scans to see how my 'baby oven' is doing. Taught how to use injectables and the way the tablets work.
Leading up to ovulation - Drugs taken to slow down my own natural hormones, and fill me up with the rights ones to produce the best eggs! Scans every other day to see how my eggies are doing
Around ovulation time - Scan and blood test to try and detect when my body will ovulate. Results will determine when I get to 'trigger; ovulation using injection.
Once trigger injection given, hospital daily scans and tests to detect where those eggs are and what they're doing. When they are in the right place Martin will go into the Masturbatorium (not making it up) give us his swimmers, they will be washed, cleaned and inserted into a catherter. This catherter will then be inserted directly into the uterus where, shortening the distance needed to travel.
Take daily progesterone to make perfect baby hotel for any future offspring and 14 days later go back to the hospital for a HPT. (as if I'm going to wait that long)
Chance of success - 20%.
Thats not a typo, thats 20%. Which to ladies suffering from IF would understand is not bad for ART, for those lucky enough to look at a man and grow a child, this could be shocking. Most of my friends and damily wrongly assume IVF and IUI automatically mean you'll have a baby. Not true. All of that palava for 20%, and I get to do it 3 times.
Bring. it. on!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)