Friday 13 February 2015

Defying all the odds

Max had s traumatic and quick birth at 36+2. I haven't written the while story on here I know, but it was all very quick (fully dialated within 2hrs of arriving at hospital) and after he failed to get into a good 'birth position' and he became distressed we were wheeled into theatre for an emergency forceps delivery. It was terrifying, painful and completely overwhelming but he arrived safe and sound and is now asleep on my boob. 

After he was born there was a bit of commotion from the side of the theatre and lots of medics exclaiming 'oohs' and 'ahhs' and Martin was told to bring the camera as he would want to take s picture of this...what this was we didn't know.

Well here is what was causing so much commotion (sorry for a graphic photo!)

Max had what is called a 'True knot' in his umbilical cord. He was always an sctive baby but whilst in utero had managed to roll through a loop in his cord creating a perfect knot.

At the time I didn't think much of it but the doctors told us it was rare but Max was fine. It's only now during hours of late night Breast feeding that we've looked further into this and read more about these true knots. Well, they regularly cause stillbirths as babies are often deprived of oxygen due to this knot tightening. Many scientific research papers have stated that the biggest risk to babies with true knots occurs after 37weeks, when room becomes less and babies tighten the knot with most movements. Many knots, like ours, are undetected before birth and aren't discovrted until baby has been delivered. 

I dread to think what may have happened had I not gone into labour early, he may very well not be here. 
This little man has kept the medical community on their toes since day one. 

Sunday 8 February 2015

12 months

February 8th 2014 was the date of our egg collection and fertilisation of our little embryos.

February 8th 2015 and this little embryo is getting more perfect by the day

Tuesday 3 February 2015

The story isn't over yet

4 years in infertility and then you hear the doctor say the words "I'm going to diagnose postnatal depression and anxiety". yowzers

I love Max more than anything and I haven't struggled to bond. My PND seems to have manifested itself in irrational thoughts of harm coming to him with an awful obsession that he will die. On Sunday morning I woke to a vivid daydream of someone's hands holding my son under water. He was wearing his blue sleep suit with the monkeys on, one of his favourites. There's was nothing I could do to get the hands from his shoulders holding him under. I spent the next 4hours uncontrollably sobbing.

This is just one more kink in the chain